How do you know?
How do you know it’s that?
Who told you it's eternal?
And should I claim the eternal?
No…it’s not a word…
It never can be.
The word is too little…inconsiderate…blind and shrewd…
My feelings are my own nest
No word shall hold them ever
And put us all to rest.
It’s a collage I tell you
You…me…your thoughts and
Mine…
Holding all each others hands
We do the all-fall-down…
Laughing and crying together
Till the magic fades
Tomorrow.
And hands change hands…
I see yours in other's…
A sound...like something breaks...
The little girl is full of sorrow.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Escape...
What do you say?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to run away?
Run away from the flux and battle?
Escaping into the arms of ambiguity and timelessness…
Away from the memories and nightmares…
Walking into a script of one’s own?
Away from your subtlety? Your judgments?
Shedding the burden of love…of livelihood…
Away from you? From your face too?
Into my world?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to run away?
Run away from the flux and battle?
Escaping into the arms of ambiguity and timelessness…
Away from the memories and nightmares…
Walking into a script of one’s own?
Away from your subtlety? Your judgments?
Shedding the burden of love…of livelihood…
Away from you? From your face too?
Into my world?
Saturday, December 1, 2007
The Wedding...
I tell you…it wasn’t me. The surroundings…they were actually amusing! Tell me, how would you react when you see a bulky-bodied dame of thirty, attempting to stroll with fairy-steps on her terrace, all decked-up in a blinding red-saree? The aanchal too, mind you, was stretched out in true Bollywood style for the breeze to fill in…that is, if the breeze could find any space, anywhere…My poor soul! How could I stop it from smiling the moment I glanced at the bride across the lane, from my balcony? Not that it was my first brush with the Big Fat Indian Wedding…but somehow I am amused, shocked, bamboozled anew, each time.
“ Look at that!” I turned to Ma…“who does she think she is? And what is that bloke up to? Why does she have to make a sad-looking fairy out of herself for the photographer?”
“Shut up!” pat came the response from Ma! “ You think they have all lost it…like you?”
“Lost it?” I chuckled in amusement.
Ma couldn’t take it anymore… “Yes! Your head, your common-sense…not everyone in the world wants to have her vidai in an auto-rickshaw!” she blabbered, wrenching water from the clothes she was attempting to hang in the balcony…but couldn’t… too distracted by activities across the lane you see!
“Ma, that’s really called getting hyper and going overboard! I never said that! Just because I like traveling in an auto all the time…” Yes people…it was true. I loved auto-rickshaws…the thud of those cheap stereos, the glitter of the wallpapers, the badly-printed posters of Bollywood divas and the over-all thrill of being in the world’s cheapest roller-coaster…simply too-much! Besides I had to board one to get to college everyday…never mind…
As the afternoon passed, guests started pouring in to the lane. The scent of old and new perfumes, the sweat from bulky bodies, the cloistered smell of old benarsi sarees and silk kurtas…it all climbed up to my flat. Ma came in with her lunch-“ not cooking anything for the evening…surely we are all going to the wedding?” I caught the question as smoothly as it was leg-glanced towards me-
“ I don’t think I am going…can’t say about Dad…”. Ma had stopped eating “go on…go on finding faults with half the world…and the other half won’t care about you…your friends happen to be the only worthy creatures available I think…”
“ Why bring them in this issue Ma? Don’t you know it’s my final sem? Have got a dozen assignments to wrap up…besides…” I added in a jovial tone… “I have already checked out all the hunks pouring in…they aren’t worth it…All in over-sized kurtas…excess of deos and hair-gels…obsessed with their handy-cams…all in all, highly un-interesting!”
“And what about your great institution? No gem worthy of you there too, it seems…” Ma added sarcastically. She always came back to this…not that she would have appreciated if I landed home one day with a missile by me...err…a guy …but it was a handy thing to say none the less. True it was in a way…I hadn’t ‘fallen’ or ‘got up’ for anyone in my five years of hanging around in the campus. Was I a men-basher? Don’t think so…I could bash women too…I mean criticize…and more so because I couldn’t stand the kind of antics Tutu was indulging in on her terrace! Besides I had my close pals who were in relationships…and I never had issues…lets move on…
As evening set in, Ma became restless with my placidity.
“How have things changed…” she began lamenting… “Forget about obeying elders, girls won’t even listen to them anymore…”
“It’s okay Ma…I knew you would resort to this…” I sighed shutting my book… “Get ready, I will help you…”
“Help? And what about you? Are you bent upon acting headstrong? Can’t you just stroll across the lane and stay for a few minutes?” she was exasperated…I knew what would follow…a session of painting, coloring, bleaching etcetera…all for people who see you sweating it out marketing, washing, cleaning…everyday.
We joined the wedding-party at night…the lane was packed with cars. Tutu’s dad had booked some extra cars…plush air-conditioned ones…to be placed on the mouth of the lane, just to add to the ambience of excess and luxury. No sooner did we enter the house, than I met up with a few other girls of the locality. I had seen these bland creatures all my life…they had never giggled this incessantly before, all of course in honor of the young men present there. They are all young creatures…I told myself…simply chill…and let them be! But…what was I?… Never mind…
The wedding ceremony had begun. The groom’s feet were duly washed…a lot if suit pieces, gold, wristwatches and even utensils were being donated by the perpetually-stooping father of the bride
“Ma…”I couldn’t help it… “Is he a bhikhari?”
“Shut-up!” was the expected reply…
A young man approached my friend, as we girls were sharing a light moment… “I too will take my fairy away in a doli someday…” He told her excitedly, breezing pass us…truly Hrithik!
“ But don’t forget to buy some utensils for your home!” I quipped in, as we all broke into laughter…
“Can we leave now by your kind permission?” I asked Ma, an hour later, in part- pleading, part-humoring manner…
“ Stay here…look around…we shall soon have your sister’s wedding…don’t you have any sense of duty?” Why hyperboles hitting me all the time? I wondered and said…
“ I am glad you have two daughters Ma…do all your gala arrangements for Di…and spare me…I shall simply ask my fellow to come to the temple…call my friends…marry and leave…and yes! In an auto…!” there was nothing left in my kitty to irritate her further…
The night passed… I stood back to observe. To call the place over-crowded was an understatement… Sharma Aunty spent all evening comparing her saree with other’s, Ma kept on making mental notes about the Dos and Don’ts of wedding arrangements, the bride’s parents must have pained their jaws smiling to their guests and counterparts…stooping in hospitality…guys couldn’t have enough of capturing gorgeous maidens through their lenses…guess it all formed part and parcel of a gala wedding…but where was the ease and beauty of a lovely gathering with near and dear ones? I wondered…
And then, from nowhere, rose a wild roar of laughter…a young and fast voice caught my attention. It was the cynosure of a discussion, going on, in another part of the lawn. The peels of laughter it was generating, made me curious.
“ So buddies, personally I would not like to be fed and washed and worshipped like a lamb before sacrifice! Show me a temple…that is if my girl believes in one…I shall walk in, marry her in a simple, economy and environment friendly ceremony, and off I go…! Not in a hired Mercedes my fellows…could one of you get an…auto-rickshaw?” Hahaha…the crowd cheered!
“Hey!”…Did I hear correctly? … “Who are you fellow?” I told my excited self, walking across the lawn, towards the thrilled gathering…
“ Look at that!” I turned to Ma…“who does she think she is? And what is that bloke up to? Why does she have to make a sad-looking fairy out of herself for the photographer?”
“Shut up!” pat came the response from Ma! “ You think they have all lost it…like you?”
“Lost it?” I chuckled in amusement.
Ma couldn’t take it anymore… “Yes! Your head, your common-sense…not everyone in the world wants to have her vidai in an auto-rickshaw!” she blabbered, wrenching water from the clothes she was attempting to hang in the balcony…but couldn’t… too distracted by activities across the lane you see!
“Ma, that’s really called getting hyper and going overboard! I never said that! Just because I like traveling in an auto all the time…” Yes people…it was true. I loved auto-rickshaws…the thud of those cheap stereos, the glitter of the wallpapers, the badly-printed posters of Bollywood divas and the over-all thrill of being in the world’s cheapest roller-coaster…simply too-much! Besides I had to board one to get to college everyday…never mind…
As the afternoon passed, guests started pouring in to the lane. The scent of old and new perfumes, the sweat from bulky bodies, the cloistered smell of old benarsi sarees and silk kurtas…it all climbed up to my flat. Ma came in with her lunch-“ not cooking anything for the evening…surely we are all going to the wedding?” I caught the question as smoothly as it was leg-glanced towards me-
“ I don’t think I am going…can’t say about Dad…”. Ma had stopped eating “go on…go on finding faults with half the world…and the other half won’t care about you…your friends happen to be the only worthy creatures available I think…”
“ Why bring them in this issue Ma? Don’t you know it’s my final sem? Have got a dozen assignments to wrap up…besides…” I added in a jovial tone… “I have already checked out all the hunks pouring in…they aren’t worth it…All in over-sized kurtas…excess of deos and hair-gels…obsessed with their handy-cams…all in all, highly un-interesting!”
“And what about your great institution? No gem worthy of you there too, it seems…” Ma added sarcastically. She always came back to this…not that she would have appreciated if I landed home one day with a missile by me...err…a guy …but it was a handy thing to say none the less. True it was in a way…I hadn’t ‘fallen’ or ‘got up’ for anyone in my five years of hanging around in the campus. Was I a men-basher? Don’t think so…I could bash women too…I mean criticize…and more so because I couldn’t stand the kind of antics Tutu was indulging in on her terrace! Besides I had my close pals who were in relationships…and I never had issues…lets move on…
As evening set in, Ma became restless with my placidity.
“How have things changed…” she began lamenting… “Forget about obeying elders, girls won’t even listen to them anymore…”
“It’s okay Ma…I knew you would resort to this…” I sighed shutting my book… “Get ready, I will help you…”
“Help? And what about you? Are you bent upon acting headstrong? Can’t you just stroll across the lane and stay for a few minutes?” she was exasperated…I knew what would follow…a session of painting, coloring, bleaching etcetera…all for people who see you sweating it out marketing, washing, cleaning…everyday.
We joined the wedding-party at night…the lane was packed with cars. Tutu’s dad had booked some extra cars…plush air-conditioned ones…to be placed on the mouth of the lane, just to add to the ambience of excess and luxury. No sooner did we enter the house, than I met up with a few other girls of the locality. I had seen these bland creatures all my life…they had never giggled this incessantly before, all of course in honor of the young men present there. They are all young creatures…I told myself…simply chill…and let them be! But…what was I?… Never mind…
The wedding ceremony had begun. The groom’s feet were duly washed…a lot if suit pieces, gold, wristwatches and even utensils were being donated by the perpetually-stooping father of the bride
“Ma…”I couldn’t help it… “Is he a bhikhari?”
“Shut-up!” was the expected reply…
A young man approached my friend, as we girls were sharing a light moment… “I too will take my fairy away in a doli someday…” He told her excitedly, breezing pass us…truly Hrithik!
“ But don’t forget to buy some utensils for your home!” I quipped in, as we all broke into laughter…
“Can we leave now by your kind permission?” I asked Ma, an hour later, in part- pleading, part-humoring manner…
“ Stay here…look around…we shall soon have your sister’s wedding…don’t you have any sense of duty?” Why hyperboles hitting me all the time? I wondered and said…
“ I am glad you have two daughters Ma…do all your gala arrangements for Di…and spare me…I shall simply ask my fellow to come to the temple…call my friends…marry and leave…and yes! In an auto…!” there was nothing left in my kitty to irritate her further…
The night passed… I stood back to observe. To call the place over-crowded was an understatement… Sharma Aunty spent all evening comparing her saree with other’s, Ma kept on making mental notes about the Dos and Don’ts of wedding arrangements, the bride’s parents must have pained their jaws smiling to their guests and counterparts…stooping in hospitality…guys couldn’t have enough of capturing gorgeous maidens through their lenses…guess it all formed part and parcel of a gala wedding…but where was the ease and beauty of a lovely gathering with near and dear ones? I wondered…
And then, from nowhere, rose a wild roar of laughter…a young and fast voice caught my attention. It was the cynosure of a discussion, going on, in another part of the lawn. The peels of laughter it was generating, made me curious.
“ So buddies, personally I would not like to be fed and washed and worshipped like a lamb before sacrifice! Show me a temple…that is if my girl believes in one…I shall walk in, marry her in a simple, economy and environment friendly ceremony, and off I go…! Not in a hired Mercedes my fellows…could one of you get an…auto-rickshaw?” Hahaha…the crowd cheered!
“Hey!”…Did I hear correctly? … “Who are you fellow?” I told my excited self, walking across the lawn, towards the thrilled gathering…
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