Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I would give anything to live an untroubled life. No decision, no confrontations, no ripples, no breaks, no shudders, no waves. To simply say a friendly ‘hello’ to the atoms of life that pass by me each day. Indecision would then be my mate. Inaction my shelter. They would not allow me translate thoughts into moves. And I would be spared of the rod of pain and accountability.

But why should I fear the rod? Why should I get it anyway? Am I that weak? That helpless? That cowardly? I suddenly feel moved and firm. Time to decide then? Well, yes. How does one do that? One who can bunch the same number of pros and cons? I know the loss I know the gain. And I am never prepared for the pain. So why budge, why change, why choose, why decide? Why not let those atoms just touch you mildly and pass by, into the unknown future. Swim on…day to day…will you meek soul?

No. Because, sometimes, the random, berserk atoms hit you hard, catch you off-guard, break your bones and scratch your muscles too. They bend you down, tie you up, blind your view. The omnipresent salt is rubbed in too, as you try swimming across the sea of life and agony. Poor, inconsolable you.

Spare yourself, love yourself, stay afloat, challenge the sea. Drink in the salt; pour it out. Wipe your eyes, face the Sun. But do decide. Decide to live life in your own, stubborn, gritty way. Tame the vicissitudes.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Relief...

I have begun cleaning up…

I am wiping it then….

I know it…

I can see the algae surrounding me…

All the green, oozing wilderness….I created

My achievement, my wealth…

They don’t let me breathe and dream.

The other day I woke up

When my dreams were suffocated

I caught the dampness in my palms….

My achievement, my wealth…

My web, my illusion…

Its not a call for help…

Its not a sigh of loneliness…

Its not the white flag…

My achievement, my wealth…

The treacherous greenness

Worse than the simplicity of death…

Keep away, stay apart…

The cowardice of the blind day…

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Inhale…problems, greasy smoke, stares, remarks, mistakes, errors, jealousy, spite, competition, frustration, failure…
Exhale…sigh, bitterness, words, inhibition, tears, complaints, noise, crash, soot, smirk, gasp, venom…
Desire to hide…I need an ostrich neck…
Clipped wings…dry legs…dry eyes…
Sometimes the ridiculous isn’t ridiculous enough…
And you aren’t dead till you die…